Should Girls Waste Your Time Just to be Polite?

Since I work in the field of dating, relationships and pick up, here is a post related to that.

I get approached a lot. Whether it's at the grocery store, airports, the gym, or a bar/club, I get approached just about every day. While it is very sweet and VERY flattering it is something that I find myself having less and less patience for. In my high school and college years I loved being approached because it was new, it was exciting, it made me feel pretty and I was young and naive. Now that I am older, much wiser and more experienced it is a different story.

One thing I have battled with a bit is how to politely say thanks but no thanks. I have tried a ton of different methods and lately have decided that the very honest, "Thank you, but I'm not interested" line would be my default. Simple, effective, to the point, and doesn't waste my time or theirs. Seems fair, right?

Wrong. Every time I have ever told a guy immediately that I was not interested they get angry, aggressive, call me a bitch, say "Well f*ck you" or "You're not good enough for me anyway," and in one instance got REALLY aggressive to the point that Adam and a few of our instructors had to step in.

Last night we were out in downtown Austin on West 6th Street. I was with Adam, our interns and instructors and we were teaching some students. A guy approached me and here is how the interaction then went.

Random Bar Guy: "Excuse me *extends hand toward mine* - What's your name?"

Amanda: "Thank you honey, you're very sweet, but I'm not interested."

Random Bar Guy: "That's a bit harsh... You don't have to be a bitch."

Amanda: "Actually, I didn't think I was bitchy at all. I said it very politely, was upfront and didn't waste your time."

Random Bar Guy: "Hmm.... I guess you're right. What could I have done better?"

Amanda: "I'd have to charge you for that." *wink*

That guy immediately called me a bitch and said I was harsh when I, very politely, thanked him for showing me interest, said he was very sweet, and then kindly said I wasn't interested. Only when I explained it did he then see my point.

So I decided to dig a bit further and put up a status on my Twitter and Facebook saying this-

"Guys: Would you rather a girl tell you IMMEDIATELY that she wasn't interested, or talk to you for a bit to be polite to then just turn you down anyway?"

The responses that I got to this was almost 100% of guys saying they would rather be told immediately. Check out some of the replies below:

These guys are all very confident and assuring that they would like to be told imediately when, in real life, the actual reaction is the exact opposite.

So is it ego? Is it because they like the idea of being told immediately so they don't waste their time and efforts yet in reality they can't handle that type of rejection? Is there a better, more sweet way I can be wording it?

Hmm...